If I was the only one in his life.

If someone tells you "I am still the same, it's just that prorities have changed" that actually means "You are not as important in my life as someone else is".
You are still with him holding second priority in his life just because you cannot afford to lose him at any cost.But it had to end some day & it did.
One day you tell him "Like your priorities have changed,same way I have changed my priorities,but your place has not taken by some guy,its just that I want to give importance to my career more than everything & everyone."These are just two sentences but not the easy ones to say.
Though I still love him the way I used to but I wanted to show him that I don't feel anything for him anymore.And I was successful in doing so last night.
I should be happy because I was able to potray whatever I wanted to in front of him & made him feel the same way he used to make me feel but the feeling that I am getting since then is not happiness, its the GUILT.The guilt of hurting someone whom you love the most.
This relation used to be the sweetest relation of my life but I can sense that it would have the worst end which is not so far now.It's impossible for me to let him go off my life but it seems I would have to do this impossible thing.
I would have loved to be with him the way he wanted me to, I would have loved to do watever he wanted me to do,I would have loved to dressed up the way he loves,if I was the only one in his life.

Who is with you ? ? ?

One of my very close friends told me today, you look more beautiful now and there are more guys behind you than before. I told him Guys can be behind a shitty girl too if she is ready to give what they want but what important is.....who is with you more than how many are behind you ? ? ?

When you are at fault...

One fine day you meet someone and feel that he is the one you want to spend your entire life with.Your life becomes more beautiful when you get to know that he also thinks the way you do.You never felt life was as beautiful as it is now.After millions of struggles,you both get together and plan to settle down in life.And suddenly the life takes a turn,you feel that you are getting feelings for someone else.Someone who doesnt even have a clue about it.Then what would you do?Is it easy to kill your feelings and move back towards the right track?

You will try to divert yourself so that you do not get involved in him because you are already committed to someone and for him you are life.Now you are smashed between your love's feelings for you & your feelings for someone else.You are still trying to avoid that person because you do not want to hurt the person that you are committed to.During this phase,that person comes to you and makes you feel that he has very special feelings for you and only for you inspite of knowing that you are someone else's and you can never be his,still he says he wants to be with you because he loves to.Again a question...what would you do now ? ? ?

Life is not so easy as we think.It keeps on playing games with us until we lose.

You spend time with him and do everything for him.At a stage,he becomes your priority.You start losing interest in your guy which is quite natural because I believe that you can only be with one person at a time with your heart & soul.You gave all the time to him that you used to give to your guy.Life goes on like this for few days,weeks & months.Then you get to face something which you never expected.That guy tells you that she likes a girl from a long time may be more than an year and he thinks that he is in love with her.He gives you explaination that you were already committed so to get feelings for you was of no use.I thought feelings are not supposed to be logical.Man who has rationalized his emotions is mean.Can you actually think about someone and then decide you should get feelings for him/her or not or what kind of feeling you should get for him/her ? ? ? I wish I also knew how to do this. I couldn't because I never wanted to lose him & that's where I went wrong......

Never let someone become a priority in your life for whom you are just an option...!